The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You need a sexual gate keeper
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
