you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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