When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
