The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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