I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You can't just leave with hair like that
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
