My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
