Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
