3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
