Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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