My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
