I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
