I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize