Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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