i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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