My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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