But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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