afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
