If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize