I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
