I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
