dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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