We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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