I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
FUCK WHALES
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
