I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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