how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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