btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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