so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
