Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
