Don't you send me to vm
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
