There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
