ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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