S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
