i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
