He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
