two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
3pm strippers are depressing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
