I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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