I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
