Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
