After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
