first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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