Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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