She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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