i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
third nipple confirmed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
