Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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