Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
