I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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