I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
