fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize