i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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