So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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