somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
