I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
