I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
