I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
